How to Tame the Tumbles by Eileen Beltzner

Author:Eileen Beltzner
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781771613873
Publisher: Mosaic Press
Published: 2019-08-19T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

Papa’s Comforting Friend Practice

When Papa came home from work that night, Isabella told him that her Mommy had taught her the good wishes practice. “Are there practices you do Papa, that you didn’t tell me about yet?” she asked.

“There is one,” he answered. But, before I explain it to you, I want you to know something important about mad feelings.”

“Okay,” Isabella said.

“I’ve learned that mad can be tricky. A small fire could be inside me without me even knowing it’s there. It would get bigger and bigger and suddenly – a tumble would fly right out of my mouth.”

“Oh, oh…that’s not so good Papa.”

“But, I learned a way to outsmart mad,” he said, “so that doesn’t happen very often any more.”

“What kind of way?” Isabella asked.

“I have learned that even before I know I’m getting mad, my body knows. I know what my body feels like inside when mad is starting.”

“How do you know?” asked Isabella.

“From some of the ways my body reacts that show me mad is coming. When I notice that, I do my comforting friend practice.”

“How do you do that?” asked Isabella.

“You already do it with Pookie,” Papa answered, “when there is a big, loud thunder storm outside.”

“I do?”

“Yes, you do Isabella. When Pookie gets frightened in a thunder storm and his little body shakes, what do you do?”

“I hold him close. I say there, there to him in a soft voice. I tell him he’s safe and I give him a big, long hug.”

“And what happens when you do all that Isabella?”

“He stops shaking so much. He licks my face. He’s not so afraid anymore.”

“So you soothe and comfort him?”

“Yes, I guess I do,” Isabella answered.

“Well, when I start to notice certain reactions in my body … maybe say I’m pressing my teeth together or my chest feels tight, I know mad is starting up. So, I soothe and comfort myself… just like you do for Pookie when he feels afraid.”

“How do you do that by yourself Papa?”

“First I take a few breaths in and out. And after that…I say, hmmm, mad is here. Ouch! This hurts. Next, I remind myself millions of people sometimes feel mad too. I’m not alone. After that, I put my hand on my heart or the back of my neck, like Mommy puts her hand on your cheek when you are upset…and I say words to myself in my head, that I really need to hear right in that moment. And I say the words in a soft, kind and caring voice.”

“What kind of words Papa?” Isabella asked.

“Words maybe like…May I remember how hard I try; or, May I be strong; or May I be patient. Sometimes I even say May I accept myself as I am.”

“And after that Papa?” Isabella asked.

“For some reason, usually my chest isn’t tight anymore. I’m not clenching my jaw. It’s like I have a good friend inside me, and that friend comforted me.”

Isabella smiled and said, “Just like you and Mommy do for me when I’m upset and you lend me your calm?”

“Exactly!” he exclaimed.

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